Ballet may just be our enemy

I have signed Aitana up for Ballet 3 times this year. And has been sick or injured 3 times this year.

First, in March, we signed Miss A up. The week before she was supposed to start, she felt yucky and ended up with a respiratory infection, which turned out to be RSV and was coupled by a stay in the hospital due to respiratory distress. Antibiotics, inhaler and no activity for 2 weeks following and therefore we just cancelled the class.

Next, I signed Aitana up for Ballet in June. 2 days after her first class, Aitana fell off a playground ladder and broke her wrist. No activity for 5 weeks and we quickly cancelled ballet. Following this broken wrist, Aitana once again had a minor spell of molluscum ... that yucky skin infection she had a couple years ago. I couldn't believe it came back, but we took care of it and (knock on wood) it's gone now. And while she had the cast and a weak immune system from trying to grow new bone, she caught a summer cold to boot.

This latest round of Ballet ... we made it through 2 classes. Then last week, the day of the 3rd class, Aitana woke up not feeling well. Thinking it could be allergies, her last 2 year molar, etc. But we skipped class and decided to try a make-up class this last Monday. We didn't even make it to that. So after a few days of crumminess, a fever, cough, runny nose and a week later (today) a doctor's appt., we find out it is an ear infection and a throat infection. So, antibiotics, inhaler and no activity until after Sunday.

So this means 2 missed Ballet classes. We can't seem to make it through this activity without some sort of illness or injury. And now I'm beginning to wonder ... those dang ballet shoes and that fluffy tutu ... are they Aitana's kryptonite?

All kidding aside, my baby girl is sick again for the 3rd time (in some way) this year. This is also the second time my baby girl has had an inhaler this year.

Now the concerning part ... each time the doctor has prescribed the inhaler, she has said "It sounds like asthma. Let's watch it and see." She told me today that if she has to prescribe it a 3rd time sometime in the near future, she will be diagnosing Aitana with Asthma. She's barely 3, how can that possibly be? I know it's not huge thing, but any illness is worthy of my worry and concern. A mother just wants her children to be as healthy as possible. It makes me wonder what more I can do to make them healthier little people. I feed them well, give them fresh air, take care of their basic needs, give them activity, lots of love and care. But should I be doing something more?

Aitana has always shown signs of a "weaker" immune system, ever since she was a baby. It makes me sad, it makes me concerned. But it also makes me determined. I will figure out what I can do to make her stronger ... I will, I will, I will.

Ballet cooties, we will beat you and one day, Aitana will get signed up and go all the way through without missing a single class!

Yes man ...

Gabriel is quite the character. He is mischievous, daring, sweet and adorable. He is picking up new words all the time and is figuring out new things daily. He can spell Aitana's name by singing her name song and that is always amazing to hear him sing that.

But I think the funniest thing as of late is that he loves to say "Yeah!" He answers "Yeah!" to every question, whether or not it makes sense and whether or not the question is even directed to him.

It all started because he doesn't pay attention to where he's going. And I'm constantly asking "Are you ok?" After a moment, he picks himself up and shouts "Yeah!" Then, Gabriel are you full? "Yeah!" Gabriel are you tired? "Yeah!"

Now we can't help it ...

Gabriel, are you a monkey? "Yeah!"
Gabriel, do you want to jump in the moon? "Yeah!"
Gabriel, are you a boy? "Yeah!"

So we tested him and was asked by Tia Mimi ... Gabriel, are you a girl? "Yeah!"

The boy is our Yes Man ... just be careful what you ask him!

Birthdays, birthdays everywhere ...

Birthday season is upon us in the Leung home. 3 of us have birthdays in Q4 (oct-dec). It's a crazy time of year especially with the holidays around the corner, too. There is never a lack of something to do in Q4.

So, with that, I must say my soon to be 3 year old daughter is keeping it interesting for me. First we planned this grand idea, since she and daddy have their birthdays 2 days apart and daddy is turning 40, that they would have a big Chinese themed birthday party. Or, better known as the dragon/panda bear party around these parts. We went to Chinatown yesterday to get Aitana's Chinese dress and we even got Gabriel a cutie little outfit. We search and search for things for decoration, but found almost nothing. I found some things online and I was going to order them ... then I thought twice and waited. I wanted to go to the party supply store.

So I went to the party supply store today and took Aitana ... maybe I was hoping she would inspire me to figure out what I needed. Chinese party supplies are limited this time of year. Apparently the moon festival isn't as big of a deal as Chinese New Year ... but I can't wait until January, I need the stuff NOW. But things were coming to me as I looked into the almond shaped eyes of my beautiful China doll and we were having a great time and I was thinking I was so happy I brought her. Until ...

I just about wanted to scream when I heard her say "I don't like red mommy, I like pink. I like princesses. I don't want a Chinese party! I want a princess and cowboy party!" AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I stopped dead in my tracks. I was lost, confused and exhausted. I haven't slept well in days and I have a lot of stuff on my plate ... then this bombshell. So I called the birthday boy and he didn't care. I called my parents to get their opinion and I just about cried. I didn't care that I was in everybody's way. I didn't care that I was talking too loud in the store. At that moment I wanted to cancel the entire party and climb under a rock and take a nap. But after taking a breath, I obliged.

Now, I normally wouldn't give in like that, especially not to a 3 year old. But, I must say, I was feeling a bit relieved that she changed her mind. The party store had everything I needed for a princess and cowboy party. Pinatas, decorations, everything. I would have to spend less money and I wouldn't have to make as much stuff from scratch ... like a panda bear decor. The food would be easier and cheaper. It was a better idea.

The birthday boy doesn't really care either way and that's fine. But how do you combine cowboy with princesses ... easy. Make everything pink and brown. Fabric is always a good solution because you have a lot of choices and you can easily mix and match girly with, well, cowboy. But I still have a feeling of melancholy ... I sent out Asian inspired invites. We got them Chinese outfits. Oh well. They will still go in their outfits ... I insist on that ... my Chinese Cowboy and Chinese Princess (although the princess refuses to wear her pink cowboy boots with her dress).

Like I said, I wouldn't normally give in to the whim of an almost 3 year old. I am not that kind of mama. I don't have the patience for kids who dictate how things will go. And Aitana knows this even if she tries to get away with it at times. But a decision this big, that is costing this much money, never. But it so happens it works out better for me, my time and my sanity. I'll have to teach her this lesson another day.

Next year ... a tiny party with just grandparents, godparents and her BFFs (and their parents too).

Someday

So, in keeping with this new routine, it has allowed us to have a bit more free time at night after dinner and baths. What is exciting is that now I've been able to include reading just before bedtime as part of Aitana's nighttime routine. For 2 nights now, we've been picking 2 books to read. Then it's lights out.

So, on night 2, I picked 2 books that I wanted to read. Why I picked these books, I'm not sure. Maybe because they have beautiful lessons to be learned.

The first was The Crippled Lamb by Max Lucado. If you've never read it, it's a must. It is a fabulous message even if you are not a religious person. I've yet to get through the book without choking up. While I was reading this I could not help but think about Aitana and how she is often ignored or rejected by other kids on the playground. While she is far from being like the crippled lamb, as her mom, I can see the similarities at times. These kids rejecting her are missing an opportunity to know someone who is truly a beautiful soul. But at the same time, I know there are better things in store for my sweetheart. It does make me happy, though, to know that she has best friends. Isabella, Jacob and Matthew. These 3 little ones LOVE her. And she in return LOVES them. I am so proud of all of them for how they are willing and ready to include everyone in their fun and games and wish more children were like these kids!

The next book I read was the one that did me in. Tears, tissues, the works. That book is Someday by Alison McGhee. My friend Danielle and I were just talking about this book the other day, so I decided to pull it out and read it again. I don't think it matters if you are 8 months pregnant like my friend or not. No matter what, if you are a mother, you will cry. It may not have been the best choice for nighttime 3 weeks before my little girl turns 3. While reading the book I looked back on Aitana's 3 short years of life and realized that she is growing out of being my baby to being my little girl. She's wanting to do everything on her own now from washing her hands, to going potty, to changing her clothes and more. She is setting the table for me these days and just growing up too fast. I wish she could stay little forever. I'm not ready to relinquish these days to good ol' Father Time. And I know that i need to always make Someday into Today.

Shake-up ...

After 15.5 months I was finally able to get our family back on a schedule/routine. Our life had been wacky and crazy ever since Gabriel was born. It's amazing how one little baby can turn your life upside-down and that craziness can snowball out of control. We'd been so crazy out of control that the kids didn't have a set lunch time, they always went to bed past 8pm because I was never able to get dinner started at a decent time. Ugh. It was exhausting ... I was always tired and pissed off and my children were suffering.

It came to a head on Sunday after a very busy week last week ... totally worthwhile busy, but still it was crazy. When I woke up on Sunday, I had a pile of laundry at the foot of my bed that had been there since the previous Monday, and the worst part was that the following day was laundry day again. Unacceptable! And the part that really put me over the edge was Gabriel's constant crying all day long. Clinging to my leg and screaming his head off. All of his basic needs were being met, but how could let things get so out of control that I can't remember the last time I PLAYED with him?!

So, day 4 of routine. Things are ok, but still I'm getting it all figured out. It doesn't help that Aitana has been sick because I'm not getting good sleep at all. I am trying to get up and get moving even so, just to keep us on schedule. There has been more yelling and crying this morning already than I would like, but nothing is perfect. I just need to take a breath, say a prayer and keep on going. I must keep this up long enough to make this routine a habit and then hopefully it'll be easier.

My kids have definitely been better behaved over the past few days, so I can see it working!

It's been so long

I can't believe how long it's been since I've shared anything. So much is going on and I never seem to find a minute to stop unless I'm dropping form exhaustion and then I just sleep. I will update everything very soon.

My Son Is One

I just can't believe it. My son is one. When I was pregnant, we thought Gabriel was a girl for sure. But I was certainly carrying my belly much differently than when I was pregnant with Aitana. Plenty of people guessed boy and I thought it would be hysterical to prove them wrong. But, we had thought Aitana was a boy, and we were very wrong, so we fully expected to be wrong this time. Sure enough, this time around, it was a boy! We were (and still are) thrilled! That very day Kinwa and I went to lunch and it was there that we decided his name was to be Gabriel Jude Ghing-Jun. Perfect.

Fast forward and one week ago today, we celebrated his birthday. I'm not sure who said this could happen so quickly. One year went by faster than I had hoped. I can hardly remember when I was doing one year ago today, but I do know what I was doing a one year and one week ago.

I'd been having contractions for a few weeks. My doctor said I needed to take it easy, drink water, keep my feet up, don't pick up Aitana (haha, yeah right). It didn't matter, the contractions still came. The ob didn't even want to check me because I had a scheduled c-section. I'm sure if Gabriel had a smaller head, he would have come sooner than Aitana did, but alas, another child who didn't seem to want to move down into the birth canal.

On the morning of June 3 I was having level 10 painful contractions. These made me fall to the ground, so I rested and waited for my mom to get off work. Throughout the day I had more level 10 doozies and my cousin Angela (Gabriel's godmother) took me to the hospital. Luckily this time Kinwa was working near the hospital this time and not in San Diego again. The nurse told me it was too early to have the baby, but she would check with the doctor. I was 38 weeks and 4 days, same exact gestation date as when Aitana was born. She came out big and healthy, so I was sure he would too. After endless days of contractions, 4 hospital visits, many hours away from Aitana and 1 cm later, I finally found a nurse and doctor who would believe and take pity on me. Luckily the doctor on call was the same one as when I had been there a few nights before. She new I had been just MAYBE a fingertip at that time and now was 1 full cm. The nurse believed the amount of pain I was in and they together decided there was no point in keeping me that way. I began to cry knowing that very very shortly I would have my baby boy in my arms. Of course they made me wait a little bit to make sure the lunch I had earlier was digested. But it was a short wait.

At 7:22 pm on June 3, Gabriel Jude Ghing-Jun was born. He had a bit of trouble breathing when he came out, but that was soon fixed. He was 7lbs, 9oz, which we were surprised by because Aitana was significantly bigger! But no matter what, he was healthy and beautiful. And the best part is that he looks like me (mostly)!

Since that day, Gabriel has brought such joy to our lives. He is not only a beautiful boy, but has a fabulous personality. He's not quite as exuberant as his sister, but is just as pleasant. For the most part, he is a mellow boy. Doesn't have much to say - he observes more than anything. He is a terrible flirt with a contagious laugh ... it sounds like a deep man laugh. Instead of trying to talk, he has this look that he'll give you that tells you he knows ... he just knows. He is very sensitive, if you speak sternly to him, he cries. If someone is crying, he'll go up to them and give his charming smile that tells you all will be OK. But my favorite part is that he is often mischievous. He conjures up so much mischief it's not even funny and be cause he's little and quiet, he thinks he can get away with it! And his latest tick is purposely trying to be funny and make us laugh.

I love my little sonny boy. He is such an awesome little guy. He will let almost anyone hold him and everyone who does asks if they can take him home with them! But I'm not letting this one go. He's quite the catch and I think I'll keep him.

I love you Gabriel Jude and Happy 1st Birthday! I can't wait to see what this next year has in store for us and I'm looking forward to watching you grow!

3 Steps ...

Gabriel took 3 steps on his own twice on Tuesday! He's been taking one step and grabbing on or going down to a crawl for the most part, so he is so close to walking! But on Tuesday, he was holding on to my chair and I felt him let go. Suddenly I heard Aitana yell ... "Mommy, he's WALKING! HE'S WALKING!!!" I turned and saw that he was far enough away from me to have walked and I saw him take 1 last step. When I asked how many steps he took, she counted 1 ... 2 ... 3. He took 3 steps!

What an exciting moment for both my babies! Gabriel was so proud of himself and Aitana was so excited that he did it toward her! What a special moment for these two.

Luckily later that night, Gabriel did it again for all of us to see. Of course, Kinwa wasn't quite so quick when I said "Kinwa, look" about 3 times. He caught Gabriel's last step this time, but I for sure saw it! What a special day!

I'm so proud of you Sonny!

Divide and Conquer

I'm sitting here right now with a kink in my neck because my kids have decided that is their motto. Of course, I decided to write this post and they are playing next to each other very happily. What? I think they just love to make me look crazy, but no matter what, their goal is to drive me crazy.

Kinwa has been gone for 3 days and he is on his way home. It has been a pretty easy single-mom week, but the kink in my neck has gotten more and more painful as the days go on. Gabriel has decided he needs to be my shadow and half the time I can't see him because he is actually under me! Aitana on the other hand is climbing on the table, trying to climb on the sink, standing on chairs and has recently decided that she should go upstairs by herself whenever she wants to play alone. That is never good.

On top of this ability to pull me in every direction and drive me to the point of pulling out my hair, we are having a sharing issue. I know it's normal and it's a natural part of learning and development, but seriously? If I hear "No, that's mine!" or crying from Gabriel because his sister decided to jump in front of him so he couldn't play with his toy one more time, I may just run and hide. I've been trying everything. From "your brother is your best friend" to "do you like it when other people are mean to you? No? Then we should really treat others, including brother, nicely" and even "Get brother another toy so you can switch." It works for a second until Aitana decides that she likes Gabriel's toy better. I try to point out every example of sharing I can and encourage her to repeat that behavior, whether we see it on TV or she does it herself. We'll soon be starting a behavior and responsibility chart for Aitana. It's a great age to start it and once Gabriel's birthday is out of the way, it'll happen.

But for now, I need to be satisfied with a stiff neck and lots of time outs for Aitana AND Me!

"It Be Mother's Day"

I was woken up on Sunday by a sweet little voice uttering that cute little phrase. She got out of bed and came to me and said that all by herself, without any coaxing from anyone. I couldn't help but smile and be so thankful that I became Aitana's and Gabriel's mommy. This particular mother's day was even more special since it was my first with Gabriel.

We had such a wonderful day. Aitana and Kinwa got me a delicious breakfast burrito, followed by a walk to the park and some good playtime, lunch at my parents' and dinner out.

But most importantly, I just really loved spending time with each of my kids. Gabriel climbed all over me and showered me with kisses while we waited for Kinwa and Aitana to get back that morning. In the afternoon, I got to hold Aitana and ended up rocking her to sleep and just enjoyed snuggling with her. It made me think though how fast this time is going. I know that day in and day out I take so many little things for granted. I get wrapped up in everything that "should or must be done" that I don't take time to just enjoy anymore. But I came to realize that Aitana and Gabriel are suddenly so grown up. Where did my tiny cuddly babies go? I'm not sure, but after giving them my undivided attention on Sunday, I realized how much I've missed just enjoying my kids and how incredibly fun they are. They are amazing little creatures and I am so proud to be their mom. I am truly blessed.

The day I became a mom for the very first time (Aitana):

Here I am the day I became a mom for the second time (Gabriel):

Funny stuff ...

Aitana has this purple toy where you press buttons and animals pop up. She has loved this toy forever and even now at 2 1/2, she still plays with it on a daily basis. Well, long before Gabriel was born, something happened to 2 of the pop-ups. When it happened, my aunt told me she thought Aitana got 1/2 of a plastic egg stuck in each and they just stopped working. (BTW - Aitana has had a long-running obsession with plastic Easter eggs. I'd say they are a favorite toy.)

Daddy said he would fix it long ago, but never got to it. Sooo ... the other day it was sitting there staring Kinwa in the face and he decided to open it up to fix it. When he did, this is what he found:

Don't they look adorable with their cute little egg hats?

So Proud

So, I normally wouldn't praise my child for being rude to anyone, especially another adult, but I have to say I was very proud of her last night. She ended up sleeping in my bed last night while we are trying to get her new bed together. The window was open with the blinds closed and we could hear everything going on outside.

Now, I cannot praise my neighbors for being wonderful. As a matter of fact, most really kind of suck. We have a few nice ones, but there are 4 houses (2 in front of us, 1 to the side and 1 behind us) where there people are just jerks. So one set in front of us were outside, making noise on their patio and such. Whatever, it was a little loud but harmless. Well, at 11pm, the neighbor next to us started blasting some ghetto music. The neighbor across from us heard it and yelled at them, using the F-word and everything. Very classy of course. So, here is where Aitana did me proud. She was fed up with the neighbors across the street for being so loud. So...

She YELLED at THEM for being so loud! My 2 1/2 yo tried telling off these jerk neighbors! They looked up towards our window like "What was that?" I just about died laughing. Go Aitana!!!!

The Zoo ...

I've gone to the zoo plenty of times before, but I've come to find out that the zoo is the most fun with my kids! We took the kids for the first time on my 30th birthday back in December. And it was great fun.


Well, this past week I felt like we were get back into the swing of things after my sister's wedding. Now that Gabriel is 9 months old I feel like I'm finally at a point where I can do stuff with the kids by myself. We are in a groove, we know how to work with each other. So, now that life is beginning to feel "normal," I decided to try the zoo with the 2 kids by MYSELF! We have a pass and it's up in June, so I might as well get some good use out of it while I can! Well, we had a great time and the kids were so good. I packed us a lunch, I got in a very good walk uphill and downhill, and for being so good, Aitana got some ice cream in a cone! I loved every minute of that special time I got to spend with my kids and I just hope I have the stamina to do it again!

Saying hi to the "zebas"



Enjoying the ride

St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick's day for our family is not a typical celebration for us. We have an unusual, but very special, tradition that I hope we always keep. For the past 3 years we've gone "up the hill" with my aunt Madeline to visit my cousin, Melissa. Melissa is my aunt's only child and she died 4 years ago on St. Patrick's day. It was a hit and run and the guy who did it had been recklessly celebrating the holiday. Our lives were forever changed that day, but every year we visit and celebrate her life. It makes me sad that my children never got to meet Melissa and I know she would just love them to pieces. But we have such a special time with Tia Madeline every year.

Tia Madeline giving Aitana big hugs

Gabriel's 1st St. Patrick's Day

The kids favorite place to sit and dance.

Tia Madeline just loves it.

The Wedding

So, my sister's wedding was just a beautiful event! Everyone had a blast. We were so busy leading up to this day and we were truly blessed. The weather called for rain and seeing that the ceremony was outside, everyone prayed that the rain would hold until we were inside eating. And it did! As soon as everyone got their food, it poured rain! What good luck. Here are a couple of pictures from that day ... enjoy!


The happy couple


The family


Aitana doing her thing ...

On the Move!

Yay! Gabriel is crawling! He has been getting on his hands and knees and rocking back and forth since December. Even his pediatrician said "He'll be crawling any day now." Well, it's now the end of February and Gabriel finally got it! It was a matter of coordinating hands and knees.

He got lots of encouragement from his sister yesterday as he tried to do it. She crawled around him to "show" him and told him "Come on Gabriel! You can do it! Hands and knees, hands and knees! Come on!" So cute, he got a kick out of it and not long after he was crawling!

It's just so so cute. Every time he tries crawling, he gets faster and faster. He also discovered that he can head for and grab things he's been wanting to get his hands on for a long time. So funny! Go Gabriel!

Here is a picture that I caught last night. The camcorder was still charging so I hope to get a video today!

New Blog Layout ...

If you are a regular follower, you may notice I have a new blog design. While I love my usual look, I thought I'd change it up a bit in celebration of my sister's upcoming Vow Affirmation ceremony. It's only a week and a half away!

What's a vow affirmation ceremony? Well, Megan and Ryan are already married. They were married in front of my mom, the kids and I on November 10, 2009. Now we are having a ceremony to affirm the vows they made in November in front of our family and friends. The prayer at the top of my blog was given to my sister by her godfather in honor of her marriage and we will be using it in the ceremony.

So I changed things up to spread the love, get into the spirit and share the excitement of what will be a beautiful day for our family!

The bride, Matron of Honor and Flowergirl and of course, Gabriel.


The flowergirl and her dress

It's Potty Time!

She did it! Aitana is on the Potty Train and we are full steam ahead! I'd been trying to get her to do it for a while. We had a couple of starts and she just peed all over the floor every time we went for it. Then one day I was just so frustrated ... we had to go to the store to get diapers for Gabriel. Aitana asked me to buy diapers for her. I told her no, only babies like Gabriel wore diapers and she was a big girl who needed to wear panties and go pee pee in the toilet. So, of course, she asked for new panties. I had to tell her she had plenty and when she started going pee pee on the toilet, she could get new ones. Mind you my sister's bridal shower was that coming weekend, so I had no intention of potty training until that was over.

Well, we got home, I told her we had to change her pull-ups and I asked her to wait while I got a new one. She told me "NO, Aitana not wear diapers. Aitana go pee pee on the potty." So I told her to hold on, I'd get her toilet and as I ran upstairs she yelled after me "And my panties too!" Well, that wonderful day (I think Jan. 12) Aitana went poop multiple times in the toilet! We had pee accidents, but that was ok. She wanted to go potty in the toilet!

We've had a few accidents, but they get fewer and fewer and are now becoming mostly my fault for not paying attention at certain times. But as of this Friday, Aitana will have been potty training for 1 month and I think we are finally there!

The moral of the story ... let your child be the one to tell you when he or she is ready a new milestone. You can't force them to do what they are not ready for. They've been on this earth fewer years than we have, but nature is often more powerful than nurture. Or at least the strong, stubborn will of my daughter has proven to be more powerful than mine.

I am so proud of you, Aitana! Congratulations on this huge victory you sweet girl!

Gabriel Growing Up

Well, time just flies. It's sad, but true. My baby boy isn't so little anymore. Gabriel is already fitting into size 12 month clothes, following in the footsteps of his sister. He is sitting up so well and can turn himself around in the sitting up position.

He hit a few milestones recently ... and I'm glad I'm writing them here, so I can remember to put them in his baby book. He got his first tooth on January 31. I'd been watching it try to poke through for a while, but it finally broke the skin and popped up! Then on February 5, he officially got his second tooth! He is so proud to show them off to me, but just like his sister, I'm the only one he readily shows!

Then the next big milestone is that he sat himself up for the first time on Monday, the 8th. What a surprise! He's been trying so hard to crawl and in his efforts, he actually unexpectedly sat himself up. Now he's all smiles and giggles when he does it while he's playing.

So, now we are waiting for the big crawl. Gabriel gets on his hands and knees at a moment's notice and has ninja focus trying to coordinate the legs and arms ... at least until Aitana or I go up to him and shout "You can do it Gabriel! Crawl to me!" It is so funny when Aitana does it ... startles Gabriel every time. He did the army crawl once a long long time ago, but apparently he decided that it's all or nothing ... hands and knees or he won't crawl. It's difficult to watch his frustration, but there is nothing this mama bear can do for her baby but cheer him on. But he'll be there really soon.

Can't believe so many new phases in such a short time!